Coercive control is an insidious form of domestic abuse that can be challenging to identify.

It involves patterns of behaviour that strip away a person’s sense of self and freedom through intimidation, isolation, and control.

Many victims don’t realise what’s happening until they’re deeply entangled in these harmful dynamics. Seeking advice from lawyers for family violence early in these situations can help victims understand their rights and options.

Key Takeaways

• Coercive control involves patterns of behaviour designed to dominate another person through isolation, fear, and control
• Early warning signs include excessive monitoring, financial restrictions, and isolation from support networks
• Children exposed to coercive control may show behavioural changes and emotional distress
• Legal protections and support services are available throughout Australia
• Early intervention is critical to breaking the cycle of abuse

What is Coercive Control?

Coercive control is a strategic pattern of behaviour designed to exploit, control, create dependency, and maintain power over another person. Unlike physical violence, it doesn’t always leave visible marks, making it harder to identify and prove.

This form of abuse can include:

• Isolating a person from friends and family
• Monitoring their time and movements
• Controlling aspects of everyday life such as where they can go, who they can see, what they wear
• Repeatedly degrading them and damaging their self-worth
• Financial abuse and control

The psychological impact on victims can be severe, including anxiety, depression, PTSD, and a diminished sense of self. Many victims describe feeling like they’re “walking on eggshells” constantly.

“The most dangerous prison is the one where you don’t see the walls.”

Forms of Coercive Control

Coercive control manifests in various ways, though some forms are particularly common:

Financial Control

Financial abuse is present in almost all coercive control situations. It may include:

Restricting access to bank accounts, providing minimal “allowances,” forcing the victim to account for every cent spent, preventing employment, or creating debt in the victim’s name. This form of control creates dependency and makes leaving the relationship extremely difficult.

Social Isolation

Perpetrators systematically cut victims off from support networks by:

Criticising friends and family, creating drama before social events, moving to remote locations, or monitoring communications. Isolation makes the victim completely dependent on the abuser for human interaction and reality-checking.

Threats and Manipulation

These tactics maintain control through fear and can include:

Threats of violence, threats regarding children, threatening to harm pets, threatening self-harm if the victim leaves, or using children as emotional pawns. These methods create an atmosphere of constant fear and anxiety.

Early Warning Signs

Identifying coercive control early can be life-saving. Some red flags include:

Changes in Behaviour

Watch for someone who becomes withdrawn, checks their phone constantly, appears anxious about time, seems fearful of their partner, or makes excuses for not attending events. These behaviour changes often reflect the controlling dynamics at home.

Monitoring and Surveillance

An abuser might demand passwords to social media and email accounts, expect immediate responses to messages, check phone records, use tracking apps, or arrive unexpectedly to “check up” on their partner. This constant surveillance creates a sense of being trapped.

Impact on Children

Children living in homes where coercive control exists can suffer significant harm, even when they’re not direct targets.

Behavioural Indicators

Children from homes with coercive control may show signs including:

Excessive worry about a parent, becoming withdrawn or aggressive, declining school performance, physical complaints like headaches or stomach aches, or regressive behaviours like bedwetting. Children may also mirror controlling behaviours they’ve witnessed.

Supporting Families

Creating Safety

If you or someone you know is experiencing coercive control:

Trust your instincts. Document incidents and patterns. Reach out to domestic violence services who understand these dynamics. Connect with trusted friends or family. Consider developing a safety plan with professional support.

Legal Protections in Australia

Australia is gradually strengthening legal responses to coercive control:

Tasmania has criminalised economic and emotional abuse. Queensland has committed to criminalising coercive control. Many states allow evidence of coercive control in family violence intervention order applications. Family courts increasingly recognise the impact of coercive control in parenting matters.

Support services include 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732), state-based women’s legal services, community legal centres, and specialised domestic violence services.

Breaking Free

Recovery from coercive control takes time and support but is absolutely possible. Survivors benefit from trauma-informed counselling, practical support with housing and finances, and legal assistance with protection orders, separation, and parenting arrangements.

Conclusion

Recognising the signs of coercive control early can prevent years of suffering and help families break free from these harmful dynamics. If you identify with the patterns described in this article, remember that support is available, and you deserve to live free from control and fear.

If you need legal advice regarding family violence situations, Forte Family Law provides specialised expertise in this sensitive area. Their team understands the complex dynamics of coercive control and can help you navigate your options with compassion and practical guidance.